HOW WE MET
I met Troy at work, at the Hospital. I am an RN. He was a security guard, back before the beard. A different look then; you wouldn’t recognize him. We always ran into each other. I noticed him. He was friendly and polite. Soft spoken, but kind of strong. He had that kind of military poise that a lot of vets have, like they can stand a long time and just pay attention quietly. At first, to be honest, I thought he was kind of fierce. The day we really got to know each other was terrible. There was a terrible car accident. One of the cars was an SUV that rolled and there was little girl and a baby boy in the backseat. The boy was fastened but the force still broke his neck. It was awful. The mom was in intensive care. The girl had a big gash across her back. The driver of the other car was in ICU. He was pretty banged up. A real tragedy. You can imagine.
Suddenly, this man comes bursting into ICU carrying a baseball bat. I mean this guy was big. I was terrified. We all were and didn’t know what to do. He wanted to kill the driver. Absolutely furious. Cussing. He smashed the door frame with the bat. We were scrambling. Out of the blue Troy steps in. Another security has a Taser. I was ready for Troy just to tackle this guy. I mean, that is what I imagined Troy to be like, up until that point. I just thought of him as this fierce Vet turned security guard. It’s not a stretch. Well, before anybody can do anything he steps close and says, “Thank god you are here, your daughters been asking for you.” And the guy just stops. You could tell at first, when he saw security he was ready for a fight, but then his face goes blank like he is completely lost. “What?” he says. Troy gently says, “Hey Brother, she is really afraid. Nobody has been in to see her. I know it’s not my business, but I think you should probably be in there with her at her side, right?” The guy just starts fighting back tears and nodding his head. We all watch dumbfounded as Troy rests an arm the guys back and says, “Here, let me show you where she is.” The guy follows along without even thinking. Troy gently takes the bat and passes it to the other. That was the moment, the moment I really noticed him. I thought, wow, this guy is something special, such compassion. He sat with the father for, oh, I don’t know how long, a while.
A few hours later I see him in the cafeteria. I was still shaken, but I had this deep desire to talk to him, to know him more. I walk up and ask, “Where did you learn how to do that, Iraq?” He says. “Afghanistan, I was in Afghanistan, but no.” He laughs at me a little. “What?” He could read me and all my preconceptions. Finally, he says, “My Pops. He owned a bar for about thirty years. He always kept a warm Pizza under the lamp, especially after ten. Whenever people got rowdy he never tried to break up a fight. He would just step in and offer a slice of Pizza. Worked almost every time.” That’s brilliant, isn’t it? He told me that his father used to say, when you meet someone that is out of their mind, remember a little love goes a lot further than a little ego.
My ideas about him were completely off. He was strong, smart, compassionate, very close with his mother and father, very warm, but still quiet. I learned that in the evenings he was studying to be a Chef. I am kind of judgmental I know. We talked for about an hour. I know this sounds off. I had never thought this way before. In that hour though, I will never forget. I remember thinking to myself, if I ever had kids this is the kind of man I would want as their father. My shift was over. His was over. So, I thought, what the hell and I invited him for a drink. One drink became two, then a date, then another, then we moved in together, and one day he proposed.
HOW HE PROPOSED
We never really talked about it. I already knew we were in it for life. I just had the feeling. Very secure. I am a sucker for sappy movies, love songs, love poems. I wouldn’t say I am not philosophical, but thinking deeply is not how I like to spend my free time. I think it has a lot to do with my work. Often, life and death are right in your face. You can’t escape it. This is a very long way of saying why one of my favorite movies is Ghost with Patrick Swayze, the pottery scene, Unchained Melody, all of it. It just melts me. I have made him watch it with me about five times. On that note, we have this group of close friends and we get together every other Friday and do drinks and dinner. One day we see next to this pub a pottery school. They are all teasing me about it as I look through the window.
One Friday, October 19th, 2012, to be exact, he tells me he has a surprise. We all meet downtown at the same Pub. Outside there are some street musicians playing. I remember commenting on how it must be difficult to play in the cold. Everybody arrives. We have a beer. He takes a last swig of a pint and slams his beer on the table. “Ready?” He asks the group. “Ready!” they say. “We’ve got a little surprise for Nat tonight.” That’s what he calls me, because I am like a gnat, always buzzing around. I have no idea what is going on. I follow them out the door, past the band--who incidentally is playing love songs by Al Greene, Barry White, all my favorites, not the kind of thing you’d expect some tattooed hipsters to be playing—and into the pottery place. It’s all set up for us, pre-arranged. Wheels on the table, water, balls of clay in the center. We joke around a bit. Take a seat. I am loving it, feeling the fool, but also feeling like I have a great group of friends too. How could I not? We are joking around. Spinning the wheel. I am molding the clay. Jason, our friend, walks to the door, says he wants a smoke. I remember I could feel everyone watching me, but at the time I didn’t think anything of it.
I am trying to make a mug, okay? As I try to thin it out, firstly, it keeps falling apart and I have to repack the ball and start over. Finally, as it starts to thin in the inside, I feel something. “There’s rock in my clay,” I tell the teacher. “Are you sure?” she asks feigning innocence. I then pull it out “the rock” and start pulling the clay away. I thought for a moment it was a piece of glass. At that moment, Jason opens the door and the musicians walk in singing Myyyyyy Looooove, I hunger for yourrrrr touch, Unchained Melody, by the Everly Brothers, from the movie. It was beautiful. By now, I see the ring. I had put it all together. He takes my hand and says, “Gnat, Will you promise to bug me for the rest of my life?” I couldn’t stop laughing. It was wonderful. I know some people like to choose the ring together. Not me. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. That most wonderful day.
Thanks Rauschmayer, for the most beautiful ring in my possession, and I am sure it always will be.
