HOW WE MET

We met about eight years ago on an airplane to Guangzhou. We were kind of trapped next to each other for about 30 hours. We are both ABC, American Born Chinese. And we both live in Wisconsin. He was working on his PHD at the University, chemical engineering, a real Asian nerd, so much the stereotype. I have my own garden shop. I like to grow things: herbs, vegetables, flowers. Well, come Christmas, as you know, the country shuts down. We both have relatives in Guangzhou, grandparents, both of us. Our flight goes through Denver, San Francisco, and then Hong Kong. At the time there weren’t too many flights directly to Guangzhou. Then from Hong Kong, it’s subway to the city, and then train to mainland, to Guangzhou. You get the idea.

After boarding for the first leg I sit, situate myself, and open a book. A few minutes later this shy man scoots in next to me. I can tell he wants to say something but he is too shy. Anyway, a bit after take-off, we start talking and find out that we are both going to the same place. Our grandparents only live about 4 kilometers from each other. And it is only after we get to Colorado that I learn I was in his seat; he was so polite he wouldn’t say anything. We quickly became travel buddies as we transferred. Kind of normal, I guess. Actually, I wasn’t even thinking about him as a boyfriend or date or anything. But then we arrive in San Francisco, where his mom joins for the rest of the journey. In San Francisco we had spent like an hour together talking and visiting, mom included, of course. We eat, board, and take our seats. The last part of the journey we are not seated together; he his seated with his mom, of course. If you know Chinese culture, then you know that a Chinese mom with a single son is a natural matchmaker. I guess she took a liking to me. I think her thinking was something like, Chinese, America, Guangzhou, HER! It is kind of that simple for a Chinese mother who doesn’t want to lose her son. Anyway, about an hour into the flight I see this Chinese lady pushing herself through the aisle and she comes up to me and says, “go.” I almost laughed out loud. Of course, she was polite and said she wanted to sit alone and sleep, she was very tired, that we are young and should have someone to talk to on a long journey. Reluctantly, I did. When I sat back down next to Steven, we joked a bit about Chinese mothers and matchmaking and I guess, that is when we kind of started to think a little differently, when I noticed hew was handsome, not obviously handsome, but handsome and charming in a gentleman kind of way.

By the time we made it through Hong Kong and into Guangzhou, she had our phone numbers exchanged, WeChat, a scheduled visit during our trip. It was really all so natural. And we did, we met in Guangzhou. I went to his hometown. We went to the city a few times for dinner, kind of discovering the city together. It was the best time I ever had in Guangzhou. It was so much bigger and more developed than I realized. It was nice, even romantic. Of course, she says it was fate. I say it was a pushy Chinese mother-in-law. One thing led to another. Soon we were discovering Wisconsin together, learning to ski, finding the best Chinese restaurants. Finally, I felt someone really got me. Not quite Chinese, but not quite American, if that makes sense.

HOW HE PROPOSED

Well, that was something special. I mean, not extravagant, but very romantic. He invited me to San Francisco for the weekend. Said we were going to hike the Redwood forest and such. I love San Francisco. Just across the bridge there is a little town called Sausalito. Very nice. There was this beautiful little boutique hotel, that opens right onto the bay. In the morning you can see across to the city; the water laps right onto the balcony. A fireplace in the room. Wine tasting in the evening. Very romantic. You can’t imagine. So I go out for a run. I like to run about 5-10k a few times a week, but especially when I am in a new place. It is a real pleasure. it’s funny when I think about it, when I returned, I remember people downstairs kind of smirking a bit. I had no idea what it was about. Not to digress, I go up to the room. I open the door, and for a moment I thought I was in the wrong place. I had to double check the room number. Inside, the room was filled with roses. Petals all over the bed and floor. The fire was on. The patio door open and a bottle of wine with two glasses sitting on the table outside. I couldn’t see him anywhere. I called out, “Stephen?” He didn’t answer. I walked out onto the patio and there he stood with the ring box opened. He didn’t even get a chance to ask me. I just burst into tears. Everything was so beautiful. He had help of course from his sister, mother, cousins. But the moment was just mine and his. Of course, he recorded it. He had three iPhones running on selfie sticks, can you believe it? It really was so unbelievably romantic.

That night, after I got cleaned up, we had dinner with his family. And, well, the rest is history.

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